Idiotic Quotes Xiaomi’s ‘Mi Note like something I’d expect from Apple’-Mossberg

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July 21, 2015 by ...

Here’s an ironic quote from Xiaomi’s CEO Lei Jun. ‘The Mi Note is drop-dead gorgeous, like something I’d expect to see from Apple.” Lei was repeating the words of former technology columnist Walt Mossberg. 

This has to be 

-the most idiotic quite of the year 

Or

-proof of the onset of memory loss

Mr Mossberg apparently is out of touch with tech as of late or failed to see the irony in his words. Of course the Mi- phone looks like something Apple would design because it’s heavily ‘inspired’ by Apple. So inspired are Xiaomi designs that the company fears coming to the west due to IP theft litigation. 

Let’s reframe this scenario

Judge, ‘Prosecutor present your case.’

Prosecutor, ‘People of the jury, design theft occurs when an alleged knockoff is so similar in appearance that it’s hard to distinguish the original from the clone.’ 

Picks up this and says,’Can you tell me who manufactures this phone?’

    
Hears lots of head scratching and then Paul Sconse, juror #5 -33 year old plumber, married, 2 kids, from Palo Alto yelps ‘Heck, I don’t know but it looks like it coulda’ been designed by Apple.’

Thyrean Blue, juror #9 -27 year old ‘customer happiness rep’, engaged & from Chula Vista nods aggressively, ‘Dude, from here I’m saying Apple all the way. Fact is I own one and it looks just like that.’

Prosecutor gathers his things, glances at the defense attorneys, who look as if they’ve eaten from the communal shit pot and swallow hard. Sweat trickles from their collective brow as they consider damage control. 

Sure they get paid, but the decision to defend this blockbuster case now seems slightly less rational than stomping your TV set after that heart-breaking Super Bowl defeat. 

Murmors abound as they shuffle paper, toy with defense exhibits ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’, which are all labeled ‘Can you tell me which of these are not Apple devices?’

   
 

  
Saul Gelt- 55 Lead attorney, knits his unibrow then passes the case file to Sam Kiper whose delicate and now-clammy fingers recoil. Beady eyes ensconced in $1500 glasses ‘guaranteed to make him seem alert but not overpowering’ flit from file to boss as he sees the inevitable. He will never make partner.

He lifts himself up and rocking like a Baptist minister in prayer and gasps for air. Twenty-three eyes meet his unsteady gaze- the glass fillin on Wilton Jenks, juror #2 picks that moment to scan the room aimlessly, Sam tries his best at ‘commanding respect but not appearing standoffish’, while gripping the ‘iPhone photo’ in his hand he begins to explain how it differs from Xiaomi. He points out the chamfered edge, the lines, exclaims that they are nothing alike. 

The courtroom goes quiet. Sam slowly glances at the pic in his hand and yelps, ‘Shit,’ then allows the Xiaomi photo to slide from his grasp….

The next day Xiaomi is valued at a more realistic number-a few billion….

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